"The" Talk

This morning I received a call from my dear friend, Laura, mother of Lauryn (my Goddaughter) and Godmother to Taylor (my daughter). Lauryn came home from her first overnight camp this past Sunday. Laura shared an experience Lauryn had that has us both struggling with when to have “the” conversation. In summary, of the 30 or so little girls who attended the camp, Lauryn and 3 other girls of color, were chosen to clean the toilets during chore time as camp winded down Sunday afternoon. Of all the chores to be done, they cleaned toilets. For some odd reason, as the little girls were greeted by their parents, the counselors encouraged them, “Tell your mom the chore you did this morning…” . We had this conversation this morning, two days after this region played host to a summit on race facilitated by New Detroit.

Was it by coincidence or intentional that the only 4 colored girls out of this group of 30 were selected, chosen, guided to clean the toilets? We’ll never know. But this sparked a serious conversation between me and Laura. Both mothers of kind-hearted, 8-year old, African-American little girls whose worlds have not yet been introduced to the blatant issues of race & racism. Both attend multi-racial schools where Caucasian children are in the majority and where they feel totally safe. We struggled about when to have “the” conversation. Both Lauryn and Taylor know about slavery, the civil rights movement and the progress made by people of color and women. Both participated in the visitation of mother Rosa Parks and can cite the story of how she stood up for her race by sitting down on that bus. That is the easy conversation; it’s in the past, its part of our history.

“The” conversation has to do with them being aware that hidden racism is so prevalent today. The issues of our current day fight to preserve Affirmative Action programs aimed at giving minorities equal access, not an undeserved entrée. “The” conversation has to do with them knowing socially retarded notions still exist and they will be confronted with them. These girls will have to be more sophisticated because today’s racism isn’t as blatant as in times past. They will have to deal with all these things plus issues that we cannot forecast. You see, I’m trying to preserve Taylor’s innocence for as long as I possibly can while equipping her with what she needs to fight the good fight whether it means fighting for her life or someone else’s.

So while I appreciate the leadership New Detroit exhibited in calling this week’s summit on race and while I applaud the region’s leaders who participated and signed the covenant, I sincerely hope that we each take an introspective look at our own role, if any, in furthering divisive practices, not be blinded by our own privilege and commit ourselves to delivering on the promise of our region’s future. I hope that we, as residents in and leaders of our communities commit to doing our part.

Dara T. Munson
Sr. Director, Resource Investment & Community Partnerships
United Way for Southeastern Michigan