Today a murderer hugged me!

The quest of interviewing Homeless people in our region has opened my eyes to the true barriers that are preventing these people from attaining the resources in our community. I've been faced with grace, sadness, strength and despair. I've looked into the eyes of hopelessness unlike I've ever seen before, yet the words of survival speak with dreams and belief. I wonder how this can be. How have I lived 44 years without even the consideration of such conflicting notions? I suppose I cannot understand fully, yet I've just gotten closer to this than I suspect I ever will.

I'm somewhat embarrassed of the preconceived notions I entered this project with. I wondered how I would get measurable responses from those who are doped up, or how I would decipher the thoughts of the mentally ill. Of the roughly 60 people I've interviewed, I don't think but 2 or 3 were clearly mentally ill or high. No, those I've spoken with are just like you and me except that were faced with challenges they were unable to overcome and are now drowning in a fight for their lives. Have many of these people made mistakes that they continue to live with today? Of course. Should these mistakes disallow them from eating? From having warm clothes? From having a roof over their heads? From contributing to our society through work? From being loved?

Anthony quickly approached me asking for help. He told of his struggles. He accounted his attempts to regain his footing. He was really sharing his feelings of giving up and I heard him clearly. With humility and shame he told me how he found his way to the streets of Detroit. He played a part in the murder of someone involved with dealing drugs. He knows he will never be excused from his actions, nor is he hoping to be excused. Instead of choosing to live in fear and anger, he somehow chose love and forgiveness. Could I believe his turnaround or am I being conned? I will never know for sure, but I can tell you I felt nothing but love coming from him. I think that was enough (for me). Upon concluding our discussion of his life and barriers I extended my hand to thank him for his time. In the cold of 10 degrees and a fierce wind blowing upon us, he removed his tattered glove, took my hand, looked as directly into my eyes as anyone ever has, and pulled me into a hug. He blessed me and said thank you. Blessed ME. Why me? It was me who will always be grateful for the insight and experience I learned from him. I know more today, because of Anthony, than I did the day before. Today, a murder hugged me!

Bill Sullivan
Team Leader
United Way 2-1-1