Relationships and Community Problem Solving

Answer this: Who’s the single most important person to you?

Now, imagine they’re in trouble. Here’s what I assume – you would do everything reasonable within your power to help them out of the dilemma. If not, email me why. But on that assumption, read on.

Personally, my greatest advantage on this planet is I can fail – utterly fall on my face in financial ruin – and still have resources, i.e. relationships that would come to my rescue to help me get back on my feet.

You know what I call that: privilege. In fact, I represent privilege in powerful ways: An American born, college educated, heterosexual, white male with full use of my physical and mental faculties, born into an upper-middle class family of other college educated white Protestant Americans; that’s perhaps the singular image of privilege worldwide.

When I have a challenge or goal, say paying for college or buying a home, I have a whole army of resources rushing to help alleviate the barriers I face to entry. Those include not only my parents and their support, but government loans, college scholarships, a mortgage from the bank. Public, private, nonprofit – personal, familial, teachers, advisors, mentors. Relationships. Trust. Appropriate risk for high potential returns.

My personal mission on this planet is to help develop solutions which alleviate the barriers those with less resources and less privilege face in the pursuit of their own dreams and aspirations. Luckily, I’m not the only one that wants to work on these issues, so rather than trying to achieve that mission on my own, institutions like United Way provide the perfect vehicle for me to have a meaningful impact in areas I want to effectuate change.

But United Way, like all institutions for that matter, or any individual – we are all really only as good as our best relationships. Nothing matters more.

Yet, when people come together to discuss community problems and social issues, there is often an overwhelming Us/Them dichotomy. A dichotomy of the haves and have nots, those of privilege and those without. In Metro Detroit this is most evident when we look at the regional geography, synonymous with race, and the troubling racism which infects us and hinders our capacity to work effectively together. We have to continue to build these relationships through empathy and sincere understanding, and work hard at it until we solve them.

Frankly, we have to re-frame our thinking. We have to recognize how powerfully our success is directly related to the success of others. That for this region to succeed, we must authentically embrace our interconnectivity.

Here’s what I think – Regional Detroit is just like the person you love the most. And we need to affirm our commitment to making this the best place it can be. We can only do that by improving our relationships – personal, institutional and across sectors. We don’t do that by obviating our differences, but by recognizing our mutual dependence and working together to better understand and help each other’s growth.

We have to start demanding more from each other. Re-frame our thinking around key relationships rather than institutional interests.

For United Way that means asking more of our investors and in turn, more from those we share resources with; otherwise, we’re simply status quo plus – new paint job on an old failing house. We have to work on the structures and improve the foundation.

Southeast Michigan just called for help – what are you doing to help break down the barriers to our success?

Brad Frost,
Brand Strategist, United Way for Southeastern Michigan
This post is part of an on-going series from MetroMode.